I spend my time crafting blog posts, sketching maps, weighing names and worrying over the manuscript for Witch… because, when I have fussed and bothered for a sufficient period of time, I’m happy with what I’ve written.
As much as I moan about my fears of rejection, I know, deep down: it’s time to share Abigail and Pierre with the world.
This is the text of the query letter I’m planning on sending out to agents. If anything doesn’t ring true, seems forced, or could benefit from more consideration, I’d be mighty grateful if you’d let me know in the comments.
UPDATE of 10/26: A reference to this site will be included in the query letter, along with a call-to-action to visit.
“17-year-old Abigail Moore, apprentice witch, is collecting herbs along the New Arkady shoreline when she stumbles over a young man, insensible, cotton shirt, trousers, and jacket waterlogged and cold to the touch. As Abigail pulls the young man’s arm over her shoulder, she sets into motion a chain of events that will see her driven out of her cottage, pursued by musket-toting Royalist soldiers, ululating toad-people and (most dogged of all) doubts about herself.
Will Abigail choose the virginity the path of witchcraft requires? Or will Abigail allow herself to be drawn into the revolution breaking out around her?
Inspired by authors like Diana Wynne Jones and H.P. Lovecraft, the original “Star Wars” film, and video games like the Fable series, “The Witch of the Colonies” might be described as ‘girl Harry Potter meets steampunk Huck Finn in serial format,’ but only if I was desperate to get the idea across as quickly as possible. “Witch of the Colonies” will serve as the first novel in an ongoing series, followed by “Demon of the Colonies” (a work in progress.)
Per your request, I have attached the first 10 pages of my manuscript, currently weighing in at 82,000 words. Thanks in advance for the time.
I look forward to hearing from you.”
Thanks, oh curious readers!
Northern Arcadia is meant to be evocative of Colonial North America, but not identical. The human colonists are not uniformly or even predominantly white, and tension between the races is largely unknown. Humans are too busy trying to survive vicious winters, soil that doesn’t support traditional crops, and raids by ululating, bloodthirsty frog-men to quibble over the color of another human’s skin.
Like I say, Northern Arcadia is not identical to North America.
But when it came time to design the second native race of Northern Arcadia – the ape people, also known as the Ghu, Ghu-ba, Goobs, and Goobers – I began to worry about racism and misleading parallels. Significant numbers of the Ghu have been captured by other Ghu tribesmen, sold into slavery, and set to work on human plantations. Reviewing an early draft of the manuscript, I worried about casual readers misinterpreting the significance of these details, and mistakenly seeing the Ghu-ba as stand-ins for the African people kidnaped and brought to North America.
I considered excising the Ghu altogether. I drafted a version that replaced the ape-people on the plantations with convict labor and elephants in harness, but the pachyderms felt out of place, and the economics of shipping conscript labor overseas seemed implausible. Some rudimentary research turned up partial antecedents – convicts shipped overseas to be imprisoned, local convicts being used for labor – but not both at the same time.
A thought struck me. Maybe I had this issue the wrong way around? Maybe I didn’t need to make efforts to make the Ghu seem less human. Maybe I needed to invest more effort – more humanity – into the secondary characters in Witch of the Colonies who happen to have dark-colored skin. That seems like the more rewarding – if more difficult – path.
These things are always obvious after I’ve taken the time to figure them out.
Designing the two races of sentient non-humans in Northern Arcadia has been a real challenge, and the source of many manuscript revisions.
The ‘ssssla’ described in the earliest manuscript drafts as ‘fish-people’ have drifted into ‘frog’ territory, and will ultimately owe much of their appearance to the family of American toads. I’m also leaning towards replacing ‘ssssla’ with ‘dhao bo’; I’m hard pressed to imagine sentient toads picking a name for themselves with all those stray sibilants.
Designing the race of ape people, the ghuba, has posed different challenges. More on that tomorrow.
Outside my window on this crisp Chicago morning, I can see a worker in a brown Carhartt jacket halfway up a shiny ladder, head and shoulders lost in the shadow of the apartment building’s green awning.
I’ve got my six Tier 1 agents, though only one of this bunch wants an exclusive look. I’ll mail that office today or tomorrow, and mail the other five when the window of exclusivity ends. In the interim, I’ll split my energy between new writing and revisions to Witch of the Colonies.
I can see the workman coming down now. Turns out he’s the guy who owns the building.
Saturday: Identify final SIX Tier 1 agents. Document agent requirements.
Sunday: Print/pull together necessary documents.
Monday: Mail first THREE Tier 1 agents. Provide 1 week exclusivity window.
+1 week: Mail second THREE Tier 1 agents. Provide 1 week exclusivity window.
+2 weeks: Identify new tier of agents, rinse, repeat.