Billy Sonic didn’t (couldn’t, wouldn’t) entertain the possibility he sabotaged possible relationships with like-minded younger men because he didn’t want to meet a human after all. At the age of 42, with thick white hairs sprouting from his balls, Billy hadn’t ever had a relationship last more than four months. He said he wanted an LTR. He said he was open to dating black guys, too. Humans wanted Billy to be emotionally vulnerable. They wanted to hear stories that hurt to tell, and then disappeared after he summoned the courage to tell some stumbling, incomplete version of the truth.

An older couple, friends, tried telling Billy he needed to focus on something other than looks. They wanted Billy to identify what he really wanted in a guy, by which they meant some abstract quality; loyalty, kindness, generosity or good company. Billy always nodded along with what they said (one of the couple smoked top-notch cannabis that he was willing to share with Billy.) Billy went home and (before the buzz from the weed wore off) searched for and found pornography of a quality that in previous generations could only be found in the Vatican’s private collection. He didn’t search on loyalty, kindness, generosity or good company.

Billy Sonic told himself that someday, he’d make it work. He just needed to meet the right boy (21+). Until then, he was happy, enough. That was what Billy Sonic told himself, as he hurried into the bathroom, hunting for a towel that could clean the whole mess up.